Two for Tuesday - yadseuT rof owT

Are you being abused? Are you an abuser? Two questions...

Here is some information from two links to help you answer those questions.

The following is from the Violence Unsilenced site.

Domestic violence can be emotional, physical, psychological and/or sexual. While many abusers use some combination of these forms of violence, sometimes abuse doesn’t involve physical violence at all.

Here is a list of some common warning signs of emotional abuse:

Dictating your behavior, privileges and/or opinions.
Accusing you of flirting or having sexual relationships with other people.
Monitoring and/or criticizing your clothing, make-up, weight, and physical appearance.
Constantly asking where you are going, who you’re with, etc.
Insisting that you spend all or most of your time together, isolating you from family and friends.
Becoming angry or taking offense when you have a different opinion than he/she does or when you don’t take his/her advice.
Demonstrating ownership and possessiveness over you (”I can’t live without you,” “You are my whole world,” etc.).
Displaying anger, jealousy, and/or frustration easily; acting ‘hurt’ when not getting his/her way; getting very upset at small inconveniences.

Do your words (or lack of them), body language, or actions make you an abuser?

Please go HERE to read one man's personal account of his "Journey Into Violence". Please read all three of his articles.

Most of us would never guess that people we know are being abused or are abusers - but no one really does know what goes on behind closed doors.

Be informed - Be aware - and if you are in this type of relationship on either side, be honest with yourself and make a change.






Also, if you would be so kind as to go to the Blogluxe Awards and vote for the Violence Unsilenced site in the Most Inspiring Blog catagory.

Thanks!

Domestic Violence Awareness Month

October is Domestic Violence Awareness Month. Just how aware are you? How would you define domestic violence?

Abuse comes in many forms. The following is an accurate definition of domestic violence offered by Paula Silva of Focus Ministries:

“Domestic violence is a repeated pattern of behavior used to gain power and control over another individual. (emphasis mine)
It’s done through various means. Anger is certainly one of the issues , instilling fear, intimidation, manipulation and it involves verbal abuse, emotional abuse ; it can be spiritual abuse, sexual abuse and of course physical abuse is part of it but not necessarily always there. The key thing is that it’s a repeated pattern and the other part is it’s power and control over another individual.”

We often tend to limit our own definition to physical abuse which only perpetrates the idea that other forms of abuse are okay or normal. They are not!

This month is about awareness. So what can you do? Realize that this crosses all cultural, racial, religious and economic lines. Please pay attention to those situations around you or within your own home which may be red flags to a domestic violence issue. If someone confides in you about an incident, do not downplay it or assume that it is an isolated occurrence. That is very rarely the case. Do not fool yourself in to believing that it will get better on its own. It will not without some type of outside help. Know what resources are available in your area to help those who are suffering in these relationships so you can offer the information when appropriate.
Finally, if you suspect someone is being abused but they are not saying so understand that, although it may not make sense to you, they are likely embarrassed and/or afraid to confide in anyone. Be a friend, make yourself available and open but do not push unless you feel they are in immediate physical danger. Most importantly, pray! Pray for both the victim and the abuser and any family members or others who may be affected by the relationship.